Comments on: Loners http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/ Living in a state of accord. Fri, 05 Dec 2008 04:29:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Amanda http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-173310 Amanda Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:51:00 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-173310 Since I was a small child, I loved being alone. There's freedom in being alone I can find nowhere else. I never had a problem socializing or making friends. But, I've learned through the years that conversations and interactions with my 'friends' just felt emptier and more pointless. And social outings are so draining. It's tiring having to impress family or friends and (being from the south) knowing that their judging eyes never miss a second. But I'm married to a social-person and thank god, he understands me and doesn't judge. He just does his thing and I do mine :) Since I was a small child, I loved being alone. There’s freedom in being alone I can find nowhere else. I never had a problem socializing or making friends. But, I’ve learned through the years that conversations and interactions with my ‘friends’ just felt emptier and more pointless. And social outings are so draining. It’s tiring having to impress family or friends and (being from the south) knowing that their judging eyes never miss a second. But I’m married to a social-person and thank god, he understands me and doesn’t judge. He just does his thing and I do mine :)

]]> By: Boston Rose http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-173220 Boston Rose Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:59:01 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-173220 My second post to this site: I realized at the end of 2007 my Spouse has Asperger's. I have spent a lot of time reading about it. Reading from 'good' sites. Trying to learn more about him. That lessons the stress between us. Now he needs to learn of ASP, to understand why he feels the way he does. There are sites for just ASP to chat to each other. Some loners may want to look into into this and either yay-or nay it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. No one should ever give you a hard time about wanting got be alone. But do understand-you have to explain that to someone who wants to play with you. My second post to this site: I realized at the end of 2007 my Spouse has Asperger’s.
I have spent a lot of time reading about it. Reading from ‘good’ sites. Trying to learn more about him. That lessons the stress between us. Now he needs to learn of ASP, to understand why he feels the way he does. There are sites for just ASP to chat to each other. Some loners may want to look into into this and either yay-or nay it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. No one should ever give you a hard time about wanting got be alone. But do understand-you have to explain that to someone who wants to play with you.

]]> By: kirsty http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-149960 kirsty Sat, 08 Mar 2008 15:31:41 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-149960 hi i am 34 this year and have been a loner most of my life. i went onto a website last year met a bloke who was just a user. so i am back to being a loner again, i am friendly but people always let me down. and they take advantage of my good nature. yes i do get bored but its better then letting people use and hurt me. hi i am 34 this year and have been a loner most of my life. i went onto a website last year met a bloke who was just a user. so i am back to being a loner again, i am friendly but people always let me down. and they take advantage of my good nature. yes i do get bored but its better then letting people use and hurt me.

]]> By: LOW WING http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-148794 LOW WING Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:26:11 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-148794 I have been a loner sincew I was a small child. As the times I feel most complete and satisfied is when I ma alone and have accomplished greatness on my own, by myself. As loners we need no recognition for greatness. We are self sufficient and that scares the rest of the world I think. Those who feel the need for companionship and recognition for their deeds perhaps don't realize what we get out of ourselves. I am a drummer. At a young age I realized that I was an Off Beat Drummer, much like John Bonham. So when Led Zeppelins music became easy for me to master though keeping up with Bonzo was at many times challenging early on. Once I did "get it" from playing any given song I was so pleased and expressed it by jumping up and down, yelling in joyous laughter and felt this immense satisfaction of being as good as anybody can get. I was alone, no one to share it with, no one saying "holy s%^$ man that was frickin awsome dude. It didn't matter, I was at once satisfied. I have been in bands, I have a beautiful wife, 3 great kids, and a good job but I am still a Loner. I have only one what I would consider Best Friend and he is a loner as well as a musician (Guitar) and we often jam. What is interesting about this is that on many occasions we come up with some brilliant songs. we record them listen to them, make our own CD's and celebrate it all by ourselves. Others that have happened to hear the CD's are astonished that we don't persue a "Recording Contract". We are loners, sharing is not a need. fulfillment not based on success or money, just the inner warmth that comes from our own recognition within ourselevs. And yet here I am at age 51 sharing with anyone reading this what I have become. Or, perhaps no one will read this and it is all for not. But, will my time have been wasted? Perhaps, but I feel less bored doing so. I only get bored when I am at work or in social settings because it is then that I am Nuetral and doing, in my mind, nothing. It is when I am alone that I let myself fly, Like my name applies, Low Wing means that I fly, and I fly well, I just do so lower so as not to draw attention as our society looks for those hi flyers, the soaring socialites that crave attention. Loners could care less if we are recognized or not for the real reward lies within ourselves and we know it. Just don't ask us to prove it for when push comes to shove and our hand is forced, those above us are very often eclipsed. But then, you asked for it. I have been a loner sincew I was a small child. As the times I feel most complete and satisfied is when I ma alone and have accomplished greatness on my own, by myself. As loners we need no recognition for greatness. We are self sufficient and that scares the rest of the world I think. Those who feel the need for companionship and recognition for their deeds perhaps don’t realize what we get out of ourselves. I am a drummer. At a young age I realized that I was an Off Beat Drummer, much like John Bonham. So when Led Zeppelins music became easy for me to master though keeping up with Bonzo was at many times challenging early on. Once I did “get it” from playing any given song I was so pleased and expressed it by jumping up and down, yelling in joyous laughter and felt this immense satisfaction of being as good as anybody can get. I was alone, no one to share it with, no one saying “holy s%^$ man that was frickin awsome dude. It didn’t matter, I was at once satisfied. I have been in bands, I have a beautiful wife, 3 great kids, and a good job but I am still a Loner. I have only one what I would consider Best Friend and he is a loner as well as a musician (Guitar) and we often jam. What is interesting about this is that on many occasions we come up with some brilliant songs. we record them listen to them, make our own CD’s and celebrate it all by ourselves. Others that have happened to hear the CD’s are astonished that we don’t persue a “Recording Contract”. We are loners, sharing is not a need. fulfillment not based on success or money, just the inner warmth that comes from our own recognition within ourselevs. And yet here I am at age 51 sharing with anyone reading this what I have become. Or, perhaps no one will read this and it is all for not. But, will my time have been wasted? Perhaps, but I feel less bored doing so. I only get bored when I am at work or in social settings because it is then that I am Nuetral and doing, in my mind, nothing. It is when I am alone that I let myself fly, Like my name applies, Low Wing means that I fly, and I fly well, I just do so lower so as not to draw attention as our society looks for those hi flyers, the soaring socialites that crave attention. Loners could care less if we are recognized or not for the real reward lies within ourselves and we know it. Just don’t ask us to prove it for when push comes to shove and our hand is forced, those above us are very often eclipsed. But then, you asked for it.

]]> By: viki http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-71449 viki Fri, 20 Apr 2007 18:52:29 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-71449 I think that it is society which makes "loners" feel that there is something wrong with them. Loners need to understand that there is nothing at faulty here. Society is afraid that it won't last if there are an increasing number of loners & fewer comformists. Many philosophers have said that "suffering and privacy are the two only things which can open a man's mind to that which is hidden from others". The important thing is to have peace within. Krishnamurti said that "the moment you feel unloved it is because you don't love yourself. If you love everybody--then you wouldn't worry about not being loveed". Keep this in mind, even when you feel down. Peace & Love. I think that it is society which makes “loners” feel that there is something wrong with them. Loners need to understand that there is nothing at faulty here. Society is afraid that it won’t last if there are an increasing number of loners & fewer comformists. Many philosophers have said that “suffering and privacy are the two only things which can open a man’s mind to that which is hidden from others”.

The important thing is to have peace within. Krishnamurti said that “the moment you feel unloved it is because you don’t love yourself. If you love everybody–then you wouldn’t worry about not being loveed”.

Keep this in mind, even when you feel down. Peace & Love.

]]> By: WestMILoner http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-69020 WestMILoner Sat, 07 Apr 2007 03:27:00 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-69020 Hi all. I'm glad I came across this web site. I never considered myself a "loner" but an "individualist person". Through a few relationships I became pregnant twice and have two wonderful daughters, both of whom were raised solely by me - without the father or the child support. My two kids, ages 18 and 21, are off with their steady boyfriends at the moment, and I realized that I'm pretty content not going that route. After reading other postings on this site, it has given me more confidence that its okay to not "go with the flow". My work situation has been stressful as it has recently changed and requires more "teamwork". I find the pairing or working in "three's" to be frustrating . . . especially when more work could be done with one person doing it with no interruptions instead of two of the three people standing around discussing how and why it should be done . . . because trailing off into some other non-related subject. An article referred to the difficulty of "pairing" certain individuals (i.e. loners), and now I will not feel so bad when my manager tells me "why do you always email the person?! Just get up and go over to their desk nearby and discuss it." I realize now it's my manager who doesn't know how to deal with loner employees and that it's not that I'm doing anything wrong. So, at 43 I'm usually content to be with my two dogs and my daughters (when they are not out with their boyfriends). I don't need a crowd of people. I do, however, enjoy one on one conversations with special friends - not superficious conversation with acquaintances. - K Hi all. I’m glad I came across this web site. I never considered myself a “loner” but an “individualist person”. Through a few relationships I became pregnant twice and have two wonderful daughters, both of whom were raised solely by me - without the father or the child support. My two kids, ages 18 and 21, are off with their steady boyfriends at the moment, and I realized that I’m pretty content not going that route. After reading other postings on this site, it has given me more confidence that its okay to not “go with the flow”. My work situation has been stressful as it has recently changed and requires more “teamwork”. I find the pairing or working in “three’s” to be frustrating . . . especially when more work could be done with one person doing it with no interruptions instead of two of the three people standing around discussing how and why it should be done . . . because trailing off into some other non-related subject. An article referred to the difficulty of “pairing” certain individuals (i.e. loners), and now I will not feel so bad when my manager tells me “why do you always email the person?! Just get up and go over to their desk nearby and discuss it.” I realize now it’s my manager who doesn’t know how to deal with loner employees and that it’s not that I’m doing anything wrong. So, at 43 I’m usually content to be with my two dogs and my daughters (when they are not out with their boyfriends). I don’t need a crowd of people. I do, however, enjoy one on one conversations with special friends - not superficious conversation with acquaintances. - K

]]> By: Larry http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-68082 Larry Sun, 25 Mar 2007 16:56:21 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-68082 Hi everyone, All of your messages have been truly inspiring for me. I too consider myself to be a loner. Looking back on my life, I feel like I have turned my back on this truth instead of accepting myself for who I am. I am 22 years old and social interaction has always been a struggle for me. I had 3 great friends in middle school, my family moved away and all throughout high school I struggled to develop friendships. I always had a lot of acquiantances and "friends" but none that were anything special. In college, freshmen year, I never went out to party which is the thing to do in college. This was the way people bonded and grew close but I didnt have friends to do it with. Still, I was happy in a sense but there was this void of friendships. The funny thing is that I love being alone! I love doing things by myself, going to the gym, reading, golfing, writing, eating.....but at the same time I love people -- though in small doses. And i happen to be very good with people individually or in smaller groups. People like me as well, but my problem has been that I push them away. I let them into my life a little, and then kind of squeeze them out, or if not totally squeezed out I leave them on the periphery. It is very sad. At the same time, I have learned to appreciate my real friendships, those that are most meaningful and that deserve my attention. Because I think about my social issues so often and question myself, I have a hard time concentrating on other things. This is tough, especially as a senior in college trying to figure out what to do. I have tried to forget about these relationships and concentrate on myself and what makes me happy --- being with people I like, do things that are fun, learning, etc. But it is hard as a loner! ANyway, I try to wake up, and look at the positive of the day. The positives of LIFE, the beauty in it. The sunsets, the poems, I dream about love, sports, philosophy, people....there is sooo much out there which is beautiful and I try to apprecaite it. But it is hard. Hi everyone,

All of your messages have been truly inspiring for me. I too consider myself to be a loner. Looking back on my life, I feel like I have turned my back on this truth instead of accepting myself for who I am. I am 22 years old and social interaction has always been a struggle for me. I had 3 great friends in middle school, my family moved away and all throughout high school I struggled to develop friendships. I always had a lot of acquiantances and “friends” but none that were anything special. In college, freshmen year, I never went out to party which is the thing to do in college. This was the way people bonded and grew close but I didnt have friends to do it with. Still, I was happy in a sense but there was this void of friendships. The funny thing is that I love being alone! I love doing things by myself, going to the gym, reading, golfing, writing, eating…..but at the same time I love people — though in small doses. And i happen to be very good with people individually or in smaller groups. People like me as well, but my problem has been that I push them away. I let them into my life a little, and then kind of squeeze them out, or if not totally squeezed out I leave them on the periphery. It is very sad. At the same time, I have learned to appreciate my real friendships, those that are most meaningful and that deserve my attention.

Because I think about my social issues so often and question myself, I have a hard time concentrating on other things. This is tough, especially as a senior in college trying to figure out what to do. I have tried to forget about these relationships and concentrate on myself and what makes me happy — being with people I like, do things that are fun, learning, etc. But it is hard as a loner!

ANyway, I try to wake up, and look at the positive of the day. The positives of LIFE, the beauty in it. The sunsets, the poems, I dream about love, sports, philosophy, people….there is sooo much out there which is beautiful and I try to apprecaite it.

But it is hard.

]]> By: Boston Rose http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-50296 Boston Rose Thu, 11 Jan 2007 19:47:13 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-50296 Hi - glad I came upon this site. I am married to a loner. I finally heard a radio discussion talking about loners - and realized I was married to one. How frustrating it is for a non-loner to be married to a loner. I wish I knew this years ago. At least I would have understood more about him and where he was coming from- instead of being so frustrated and pissed off over his non-socializing. He spends less and less time with me - and his true colors are coming out after 16 years. Doesn't feel he has to go out of his way anymore to do what I want. At least I can now figure out his point of view. However, if he doesn't want to talk to me much/do much with me - hates any vacation.....where does that leave me. Can loners just marry each other in the future and leave us social folks alone. Glad I am finding info on this subject - it helps to understand at least. Hi - glad I came upon this site. I am married to a loner. I finally heard a radio discussion talking about loners - and realized I was married to one. How frustrating it is for a non-loner to be married to a loner. I wish I knew this years ago. At least I would have understood more about him and where he was coming from- instead of being so frustrated and pissed off over his non-socializing. He spends less and less time with me - and his true colors are coming out after 16 years. Doesn’t feel he has to go out of his way anymore to do what I want. At least I can now figure out his point of view. However, if he doesn’t want to talk to me much/do much with me - hates any vacation…..where does that leave me. Can loners just marry each other in the future and leave us social folks alone.
Glad I am finding info on this subject - it helps to understand at least.

]]> By: 4L http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-21614 4L Wed, 21 Jun 2006 07:25:27 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-21614 Hi everyone, i'm also some kind of a loner. And i do feel that there's nothing wrong with it though there's something wrong with it when it's too much because too much loneliness might 'cause you to be mentally retarded because of not having talking to another person. However, still loners aren't bad people. However, if you're a loner pray for the guidance of our God so that he may lighten us in our everyday lives and through trials and darkness. Loners Live! Hi everyone, i’m also some kind of a loner. And i do feel that there’s nothing wrong with it though there’s something wrong with it when it’s too much because too much loneliness might ’cause you to be mentally retarded because of not having talking to another person. However, still loners aren’t bad people. However, if you’re a loner pray for the guidance of our God so that he may lighten us in our everyday lives and through trials and darkness.

Loners Live!

]]> By: keisha http://www.symphonious.net/2004/03/31/loners/#comment-21497 keisha Tue, 20 Jun 2006 16:35:13 +0000 http://localhost/wordpress/?p=68#comment-21497 my best company is the lonelyness because i better be alone than with bad company yes sometimes i feel lonely but i get justoo it but sometimes you need people to be with i dont i,m a loner i,m the kind of persons i guard evevrything i feel inside y keep my cool for noone tosee how i feel and its pain ful but i dont have abyone to be with or to turn on! thanks my best company is the lonelyness because i better be alone than with bad company yes sometimes i feel lonely but i get justoo it but sometimes you need people to be
with i dont i,m a loner i,m the kind of persons i guard evevrything i feel inside y keep my cool for noone tosee how i feel and its pain ful but i dont have abyone to be with or to turn on! thanks

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